A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool. After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split.
The waitress asked kindly, "Crushed nuts?"
"No," he replied, "Arthritis."
.........................................
A doctor to a middle aged person while holding his nose:
"Yes, that's very loud Mr. Jones, but I said I wanted to hear your HEART
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